What if
by SomeoneOnThisWorld
Summary: short drabbles about Robin and Barney, if some scenes would go as I wanted. Every drabble for itself! That means one does not rely on the other ;P enjoy reading and review ... please?
1. Zip, zip, zip

What if Robin wouldn't like Ted at the time?

"You and me? That's insane. If you even think about it for a second ..."

"I have thought about it, for three seconds, and it makes a lot of sense." Robin watched him wide-eyed, while he talked and tying his tie. "We both think the marriage/commitment thing's a drag, we both want something casual and fun and we clearly get along pretty well."

"Wow, that actually did make a lot of sense," Robin said. Barney proceed to dress up and she blankly stared in space for a while. She didn't know what suddenly possessed her, but she dropped the box of battleships on the floor and went up and kissed Barney. He, almost unaware of what was happening, kissed back and when they finally pulled away for air, they could just smile.

"You know, I'm glad Ted met you before me," Barney said.

"Oh? Why is that?" Robin asked.

"I would probably sleep with you and never call you again," he said and took a step back to button his shirt. "And I only realize now I would be throwing away the second most awesome person on the planet."

"Well ... You can still sleep with me," Robin said and smiled as he instantly tore the shirt of and kissed her even more passionately.

A/N: like it? hate it? don't really care, just review it :P


	2. Game night

What if Barney still wanted to get some dirt on Robin?

"Hey, Scherbatsky!" Robin turned around at the sound of her friends voice.

"What is it, Barney?" she asked when the blonde caught op with her.

"You sneaky little minx," Barney smirked. "You got to hear most embarrassing moments about everyone and we didn't hear anything from you."

"I wanted to tell you about the horse poop incident, but ..." "We all saw it. Come on, you must have something," Barney whined.

"Alright," Robin said. "Back when I started on my first job in Canada, I once, just once, filled in for our sick anchor. Unfortunately I had some, um, digestive disorders and while on air I, um ... Cut one."

Barney's mouth hung open, while a hint of smile was shown and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Until I moved here the video of me doing that on television still followed me everywhere I went. People were like," Robin deepened her voice, "hey you're that reporter who farted on TV! I wasn't able to do any interviews, because people were laughing at me."

"Do you think I could still find it?" Barney asked and Robin laughed.

"My friends still send it to me via e-mail every year on my birthday, so yeah, I think it's still somewhere," she said and regretted those words the same time they left her mouth.

"Is that so?" Barney asked. "Just out of curiosity, is your e-mail password still _OhCanada123_?"

"How do you know my password?"

"So it is!" Barney cried happily. "I have to go. Oh, I'm so happy I could just ... Oh, what the hell!"

Before Robin knew what was happening, Barney pulled her close, kissed her passionately and quickly, let go and set off running home. Robin watched him leaving and without realizing a smile crept on her lips.


	3. Best prom ever

What if Ted was the one who grabbed the turtle head and ran?

Lily and Marshall's song started playing and the engaged couple danced away on the dance floor, filled with high school seniors. Robin watched them and smiled at the sight.

She always said how she didn't want a serious relationship, but deep down everyone wanted it, even Robin. Ted was able to give it to her, what Lily and Marshall had, but ... It didn't feel right. Of course, Ted was the nicest guy in the world, so it didn't make any sense. She didn't know, what was pulling her away. Was he too nice? Did the cheesy things he did pull her away from him?

She felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned around. Barney was standing behind her, smirking like an idiot.

"I heard some kid threw up all over you," he said.

"Barney, I really don't ..." "Hey, hey, hey, I just wanted to ask to for a completely innocent dance and I promise you that I won't let you see my dinner," Barney cut her of, smiling. It was the first time for Robin that she saw a sincere smile on his face, not an evil, almost mocking or seductive smirk. She smiled back.

"I guess a normal dance would be nice," she said and he took her hand as soon as he got her approval. They started to sway their hips to the music and Robin just couldn't help but thinking how nice this was.

"Enjoying yourself, Scherbatsky?" Barney asked her, noticing a smile playing on her lips.

"Is it a crime if I am?" Robin asked. Barney spun her around and pulled her a little closer.

"Is it?" he asked in a low voice.

"No," she said, trying not to give him any ideas.

"Too bad," Barney shrugged, letting her go a little bit. He smirked at her again. "But if you change your mind ..."

"I won't."

"But if you do, I think I have a pair of handcuffs lying around in my apartment, if you would want to ..."

"Not in a million years," Robin cut him off again and couldn't help but smile. "Please tell me, that's not one of your pick-up lines. Because, if it is, then it's not really good."

"Nah, I just made it up," Barney said. "But if it didn't work on you, it doesn't mean it won't work on a dumb hot chick at MacLarren's."

"Okay, I'm curious," Robin laughed. "What is the most cold-blooded, non-cheesy thing you said, when you hit on a girl?"

Barney thought for a second and then said in a seductive voice. "Hey, baby, wanna have sex?" His face change from seductively serious to normal. "And it worked!"

"It did?" Robin asked in disbelief.

"Oh, yeah," Barney nodded with a devilish smirk on his face.

"Well, you wouldn't get me in bed with that," Robin told him.

"I know. You're too smart to fall for something like that," Barney said and let her go at the end of the song. Before he went away he murmured something. Robin didn't quite catch what he said, but, while watching him walk away, she could swore it was something along the lines of:

"I have something bigger planned out for you."

Suddenly she knew what pulled her away from Ted.

Barney.


	4. Something blue

What if Barney went back inside to watch Robin dance with the kid?

Barney looked down in his drink. It was his third scotch tonight. He looked across to the dance floor, seeing Robin laughing while she danced with a small kid that was half her size.

He smile at the sight. He never thought of her as hot, though she clearly was. She was simply beautiful. There was no other word for it.

"Hello." Barney turned to his left and saw the girl Robin and Ted introduced him to. She was hot and she looked quite drunk. Barney glanced from her to Robin and back to her. His mind were soon clear. He wasn't in the mood.

"Hey," he said. His glance kept going back to Robin.

"Wanna dance, big boy?" the girl asked. He would normally answer to that with something like:

"If you think I'm big now, you haven't seen nothing yet."

But he didn't. He let the opportunity slide by.

"No, I'm kind of here with someone," he lied.

"Oh, she won't mind, if I still you away for one dance," the girl said, puckering up her lips, leaning toward him.

"She might," Barney said, stepping away from her. "Excuse me."

He walked towards Robin, who was still dancing with the little boy.

"May I cut in?" Barney asked politely. The boy nodded and left and Barney extended his hand for Robin to take. She did.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, suspicious of his actions, when he pulled her close and they started dancing.

"Dancing, I believe," he said. "Why, am I doing it wrong?"

"No, you're quite good at it," Robin said. "But why are you dancing with me, if there are many drunk women here?"

"I need a little break," he said. "And you need someone taller and more mature to dance with."

"It was just for fun," Robin said and smiled. "And I also danced with Ted."

"Like I said, you need someone taller and more mature to dance with."

"You and Ted are the same hei..." "Pa pa pa pa," he childishly cut her off and she laughed at his immaturity.

"It's kind of nice, though," she said, keeping the smile on her face. Barney wiggled his eyebrows.

"Well, you're single again. If you want, we can move this to somewhere more private and I can show you what other dance I'm good in."

"No," Robin said, her face becoming more serious. "Can't you let a day go by without hitting on me?"

"While you're single there's no harm in little flirting," Barney shrugged. "Besides, you're pretty."

"Thank you." Robin didn't know, wether to be flattered by the compliment or should she expect some witty and disgusting comment following those words.

"You're welcome." They stared in each others eyes. Robin felt light on her feet, almost like floating and melting in Barney's arms all at once. And his soft stare from his way to angelic blue eyes to be worn by the devil didn't help.

"Barney," she breathed, suddenly realizing something.

"What?" Barney asked softly, quietly, feeling the tenderness between them.

"The music stopped," she pointed out, barely whispering, not sure of how much longer she was able to hold back. Barney smiled and she felt like melting again.

"So?" he asked. They were still swaying to the rhythm from the earlier song and didn't even realize they were leaning more and more closer to each other.

_No_, Robin thought._ This is crazy. I just broke up with Ted. I can't suddenly have feelings for Barney._

_What am I doing?_ shouted a voice in Barney's head. _You can't have feelings for this girl! What if Ted is still in love with her? And what about my swear of never falling in love after Shannon?_

Their lips were inches apart, each could feel the other's warm breath on their lips. Suddenly they both pulled away.

"I should go home. It's getting late," Robin said, trying to forget about everything she felt, even for a moment.

"And I really can't let an opportunity of drunk bridesmaids slide by," Barney lied, trying to forget about that moment as soon as possible also.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Barney watched her walking away and after a few moments of watching, he took of in the other direction.


	5. How I met everyone else

What if Barney had something to say about Robin's sixteen nos?

"Were you serious?"

Robin looked from her drink to Barney, who decided to sit across from her, after everyone else left.

"About what?" she asked him, curious where the question was leading to.

"The way you said: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Barney and I are not together, no, no. Am I really that resistant to you?" Barney asked. His eyes were curious and a little hurt.

"No," she said before thinking about her answer. "I'm sorry, it was a defensive mechanism."

"What?" Barney asked.

"Well, you see, I was never very fond of telling my father if I liked anyone when he asked me about it, because I knew he would forbid me from seeing the guy and if I told my mom, she would want us to get together and would stop at nothing to make it so. And I had no friends to tell them either, so I never told anyone if I liked them. I guess it got stuck in my head," she explained, looking down at the table the whole time.

Barney couldn't help but smile at the thought that went through his mind.

"What does that mean then?" he asked her and she looked up.

"What?"

"Do you ..."

"Oh, that! No, I don't," she faked a smile. She looked on her watch. "Well, I have to go."

As she stood up, Barney didn't look away from her. His eyes followed her to the exit of the bar and then he looked down at what was left of his drink. He gulped it down with one sip and stood up.

He wasn't sure, what took over him, when he went out on the street, leaving his umbrella and coat behind, though it was raining. He saw Robin's green umbrella among many others and ran after her. When he caught up with her, he tapped her shoulder, to get her to turn around.

"Barney?" she asked.

"I do," he said, before he could stop to think about it. She was puzzled by those two very simple words.

"Do what?"

"I like you. Maybe even more. I don't know," Barney said, not able to stop himself even more. Even he was confused with the feelings he finally admitted to himself. Feelings he didn't know he had. "You just came into my life, liking Ted, Ted loving you and I ... I'm not sure, what happened." He stop to laugh at his own idiotic words. "I'm not even sure, what I'm talking about. I'll just go, before I make this even more awkward."

He started walking and he didn't even make two steps when he felt an arm grabbing him, forbidding him to go. He turned around.

"You're all wet," Robin told him. Now she was the one who wasn't sure of what she was saying. She tok a few steps closer to him, putting the umbrella over both of them.

"I'm not sure what happened either," she whispered, loud enough to override the rain and still quietly enough it was only for him to hear. Without thinking they both started to lean in and the moment their lips touched, the umbrella fell to the ground, letting the rain fall on them.

They minds became blank. They didn't think about rain, about Ted, about anything that's been holding them back.

And, frankly, they didn't even care.


	6. Sandcastles in the sand

What if Barney went a little out of line while bragging about Robin in front of Simon?

"I would love to stay and hear more of that week you guys spend together, but I have to go to find the other video," Barney said and stood up. Before stopping himself, before thinking if that was a bad idea and before anyone else could react, he leaned across the table, past Simon, kissing Robin in the lips. "Bye, honey."

Everyone's mouth hung open. Simon watched after Barney, Lily and Marshall exchanged glances with Ted and Robin was just shocked by the kiss, trying to keep the smile away from her face.

"Babe, is he ... Is he your boyfriend?" Simon asked, looking back at Robin. She opened her mouth to say something, but Lily cut her off.

"Yeah, they've been together for what feels like an eternity," she said.

"Um, yeah," Robin said, in such shock she forgot about her history with Simon and concentrated on being the winner. "Barney is my boyfriend."

"Wow, I didn't think you'd go for someone so snobbish and wearing a suit," Simon laughed with contempt.

"Well, at least he wouldn't dump me for a girl with a pool," Robin said back. She wasn't sure if this was true or not, but somewhere deep in her heart she saw Barney in a different light. She stood up. "I need to go, too."

As Robin went out, leaving Simon and her friends behind, she walked straight to her apartment, unlocking the door and went to the TV. She grabbed a video tape on the shelf and pen and a piece of paper from the coffee table and went back out.

She called a cab and told the driver Barney's address. While driving, she wrote something down on the paper.

Taking the elevator to Barney's apartment, she thought if that was even a good idea. But, it was the least she could do since he helped her.

Robin stopped in front of Barney's apartment and, hesitatingly, she knocked.

...

Barney has poured himself a big glass of scotch when he came home. He couldn't believe he did that. He kissed her! In front of Ted! He at least hoped, Robin finally won.

He heard a knock on his door and with a sigh, he went to open it. There was no one there. Just a video tape and a note o it.

_Thanks for helping me win. Enjoy the video and please ... Don't tell anyone._

_-Robin_

He smiled and looked down the hallway, hoping to see her, but she wasn't there. He looked back at the tape in his hand and went back inside. The Robin Sparkles saga continues.


	7. Miracles

What if we saw Barney's flashback when he got hit by a bus?

He was finally there. He couldn't believe it. He ran all the way from his office to a different side of town.

And he still smelt incredible.

He passed the street and suddenly felt cold metal hitting him from the side. He didn't know, what was happening, but in the next moment everything was coming back to him

_"Hey, Barney, do you see that girl?" "Oh, yeah, you just know she likes it dirty!"_

_"Shot through the heart and you're to blame ... You give love a bad name!"_

_"Don't be a hero, Scherbatsky!"_

_"Aw, man! You guys did it, didn't you?"_

_"Tell people what?"_

_"Let's go to the mall, everybody!"_

_"Sandcastles in the sand ..."_

_"I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend." "And I just slept with my ex-boyfriend's really good friend." "Best friend."_

"That's pretty much everything you love, right?"

Barney looked away from Robin and smiled unconsciously, before looking up at Marshall.

"Yeah ... Pretty much."


	8. Do I know you?

What if Barney got the courage of asking Robin out?

"Robin, great to hear from you. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You called me, went samanihaha and hung up."

"Heheh ... Help me!" Barney whispered to Lily. She stood up, trying to think of something.

"Just ask her something!" she said.

"Um, how are you feeling today?" he asked the first question that came to his mind. _That's not going so bad._

"Fine ..."

"Ask her something personal!"

"At what time did you first get your period?" _You are pathetic, Barney Stinson. Just pathetic ... Well, awesomely pathetically in love, maybe ..._

"Did you just ask me about my period?"

"No, I did not," Barney quickly denied it, laughing nervously and feeling stupid about himself. Why wasn't this just a booty call?

"Just ask her out!" Lily whispered. Barney took a deep breath.

"Listen, Robin, I was wondering if ..."

"If what?" Robin was a confused about this conversation as ever. What was wrong with Barney? Was this some new plan to pick up a chick?

"Would you like to go out?"

He said it. He felt like standing on the edge of the building, waiting to see if Robin will push him over or pulled him to safety.

"Is this some kind of a plan to get some chick you're watching right now?" Robin asked him. Barney felt his heart sink, ready to fall to the ground.

"No, I'm at home right now and I thought ... Ah, just forget it. It's stupid ..."

"Okay." Barney's eyes widened.

"Wait what?" he asked, not sure if he heard right. Lily smiled, knowing Robin would say yes either way.

"I will go out with you," Robin said. "I finish work at seven, so you can come here and we can, um ... Go somewhere."

"Alright," Barney smiled widely, overly glad about her answer. His heart almost jumped out of his chest and to the ceiling. "I'll see you then. Bye."

"Bye, Barney," Robin said. They both hung up. Barney smiled like an idiot and Lily was happy for him.

"Well, at least there is something similar to a heart in your chest," she said. "I have to go now. It's almost lunchtime and I have to call Marshall."

Barney nodded, only barely hearing what she said. As she head out of the door, he called to her.

"Hey, Lily!"

"Yeah, Barney?" she asked, one foot already out of the door.

"Thanks," Barney's smile got even bigger.

"You're welcome," Lily said. "Just don't screw it up."


	9. Best burger in New York

What if Barney felt bad for seeing Robin starving?

"Hey, Scherbatsky," he whispered, when they were walking down the street towards to the green door, passing the shouting man handing out posters.

"What, Barney?" Robin asked, annoyed with everything at the moment. She just needed food. Barney smirked and pulled something out of of his pocket.

"I got you this," he told her, handing her a snickers. Robin smiled, taking the snack from him. She opened it quickly and took a bite.

"Oh, my god, Barney, I love you," she said gratefully. Barney's heart started dancing around in his chest as he heard those words.

"Yeah, just don't forget it," he said, trying to play it cool. Still, he couldn't help but smile at the thought he made her happy.

(A/N: okay, I'm really satisfied with this drabble. I really hoped to see it at some point of that episode :P)


	10. Benefits

What if Ted was the first Barney saw, when he came to confess his true feelings about Robin?

"Ted, you were right! I'm in love with ..." Barney called walking through the apartment's door. Ted came out of the kitchen, holding garbage bags.

"Robin, I know," Ted cut him off. "Could you get the door for me, buddy?"

Barney opened the door, letting Ted get out to leave the trash outside.

"You know?" Barney asked. He wondered to himself why was he so surprised Ted knew. He was more than oblivious about it.

"Yeah, you're a horrible liar when it comes to feelings," Ted laughed. "It wasn't hard to know for sure once I brought it up yesterday."

"Are you mad?" Barney asked.

"Why would I be mad?" Ted laughed at the stupidity of that question. "Robin and I never worked out and I broke off our little arrangement after you stormed out."

"You did?" Barney asked, happy and at the same time he felt somewhat guilty for feeling this way towards a girl with whom his best friend was in love with not long ago.

"Yeah, if you have feelings for her, I can't just tell you we can't be friends anymore. I mean, yeah, it was weird when you guys slept together, but ..." Ted stopped to laugh. "You couldn't have found a better fit for you, Barney."

"Do you really think so?" Barney asked. "I mean I'm not sure if _I'm _fit for a girlfriend."

"I can't help you with that," Ted said. He looked past Barney, towards Robin's bedroom. "But I think I know, who can."

Barney followed his gaze and saw Robin standing behind him in sweatpants and an old t-shirt. She didn't show any emotions, which made Barney feel even more nervous. He just confessed his feelings to the girl of his dreams and he didn't even know it.

"You ... Um, do you really ... I ..." Robin wasn't able to form a sensible sentence. She couldn't believe her ears. Barney was in love with her?

She didn't expect that. Barney was in love with her. No matter, how many times she thought about it, it sounded strange ... And right.

"Um, I ..." Barney also lost the gift of speech. "I ... I should go. I, heh, I feel to stupid to face anyone right now."

He left the apartment, scared that he just screwed everything up. It won't be the same. She won't see him as a bro anymore. She won't see him as a friend. She will just see him as some idiotic guy, who was ridiculously in love with her.

He heard the door open behind him, when he walked down the hall, steps, trying to catch up with him, but he kept on walking. The only thing that made him stop and turn around, was a small hand on his arm, pulling him back.

Before having a good look at Robin, she pulled him in a tender kiss.

"MacLarren's, fifteen minutes," she breathed with a big smilie on her face – a smile she couldn't hide. Then she went back inside the apartment and Barney kept his eyes on her until she disappeared from his sight. He simply smiled and went back to the bar, wondering just one thing.

Did this really just happened?


	11. Three days of snow

What if Robin told Marshall why she seemed like a robot?

"It's because of Barney," Robin said after a long silence in the car covered in snow. Marshall looked at her, confused.

"What's because of Barney?" he asked.

"He's the reason I may seem to you like a robot," Robin admitted. "I have no idea, what's happening. Ever since his bus accident I feel like I would just die without him."

Marshall smiled with hope for his friend.

"You love him." He tried to say it as if he already knew it was true, but with Robin he could never be sure.

"Yes, no, maybe," Robin sighed after changing her mind for the third time. "I don't know."

"Well, robots are confused with their feelings, if they found them," Marshall said and smiled. "I'm sorry, Robin. You're not a robot, at least not the one who doesn't have feelings."

"It's fine," Robin faked a smile. "Too bad Barney doesn't have any feelings for girl. Ever."

"Yeah, that's too bad," Marshall said nervously, biting is lip to prevent himself from spilling Barney's biggest secret.

After another silence, Marshall had to ask, "Did you ever think about confronting him with these feelings?"

"And what?" Robin said. "Get shot down, changing everything? No way, I rather keep it away from him as far as I can."

"And if I told he feels the same?"

"He doesn't."

"But what if he did?"

Robin looked at her friend. He was hiding something and doing a very good job at doing so. With a sigh, she wished she would be here with Lily. She would've break instantly.

"What aren't you telling me, Marshall?" she asked. Marshall kept quiet. It was easier for him to keep the secret, unlike Lily, who told him as soon as Barney told her.

_Okay, just don't say it. Keep it cool. She suspects something, but she still has no clue. I won't break, I won't tell her_, he thought to himself, until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Barney is in love with you!" Marshall yelled and covered his mouth instantly. Robin's eyes shot up at him, searching for little hints of lies. How dared he mock her like that!

"What did you say?" Robin asked. "Marshall, if this is some kind of a joke, I swear I'll ..."

"It's not a joke," Marshall cut her off. "Barney told Lily he loves you a couple of months back, just as he was done rehabilitating from his bus accident. Of course she told me as soon as she got the news and we were both quiet about it for some time since then."

"Barney loves me?" Robin asked, her eyes sparkling with hope. Marshall nodded. She smiled. "Barney loves me. Barney Stinson _loves_ me!"

She laughed cheerfully and felt like dancing to the rhythm of her happy heart. She couldn't believe her ears. When she finally calmed down, she looked at Marshall.

"Marshall, close your eyes," she said.

"Wow, wow, I thought you like Barney," he said, taken aback with what she said.

"Just do it," Robin ordered and he did as she wished. Then she pushed the button to open the roof of the car, letting the snow fall on them.

"Thanks for telling me," Robin said sincerely, before they climbed out and went to get Lily.

_Wednesday_

Robin walked in her apartment, finding a lot of people drinking and talking in there. She didn't know anyone, but it seemed like there was a party.

Seeing Marshall, she went to him.

"Hey, what is going on here? Some kind of a party?" she asked.

"Yeah, Barney and Ted brought them here. I'm not sure if I want to hear the whole story," Marshall laughed.

"Um, have you seen Barney?" she asked. "I think I ... want to tell him how I feel."

"BINGO!" Barney yelled coming out of Ted's room, in nothing but boxers and an unbuttoned shirt. The glee in Robin's eyes was washed away. She looked at Marshall, tears fighting to come out.

"Thank you, for being so honest with me," she said and left before Marshall could say anything and before he would see her cry. She ran to the hallway, not able to hold it in anymore. She leaned on the wall, slowly sliding down with the same pace as tears rolled down her cheeks. How could she be so stupid to believe Barney could love her?

_Thursday_

Robin came to the bar, finding Barney and Ted sitting at their usual booth. She sat down next to Ted.

"Oh, hey Robin, check this," Barney said, looking more happy than ever. He put the bingo paper on the table. "I got bingo!"

"What happens if you get bingo?" she asked. It hurt her when she remembered yesterday, seeing him yell out bingo.

"Nothing, I ... Why is everybody asking me that?" Barney asked, looking at Ted.

"Because it's dumb playing bingo with yourself," Ted pointed out.

"By the way, I heard you yell out bingo yesterday," Robin said. "I was there."

Barney, who took a sip of scotch, almost choked.

"You were there?" he asked.

"Aha," she said, taking a sip from her beer, hoping alcohol will ease the pain. "For a short while. Then I left."

"I'm so sorry," Barney said. Not even he was sure why.

"Why are you apologizing?" Robin asked.

"Because I ... I ..." He was angry with himself for still not being able to say it. "I, I wanted to say hi."

"You wanted to say hi to me yesterday?" Robin asked, suspiciously. "Why is that?"

"I ... Wait for it, it will get to me," Barney said, holding up a finger, trying to find a lie, most suitable for this situation.

"I think I'll leave," Robin said, starting to get up. "I don't want your brain to get to damaged for thinking.

"It's because I love you, okay?"

Robin stopped dead on her tracks. Did she really hear him say that?

She slowly turned around. She didn't notice people looking towards them, because Barney yelled the truth so loud everyone heard. She didn't notice Ted looking at him with his jaw dropped. She only saw Barney's blue eyes in securely looking back at her.

He slowly stood up and finished his drink. He needed all the confidence he could get and being a little drunk might just help him get there.

"I slept with you once. Just once," he said, walking towards her. "And it was enough to make me feel sickeningly happy every time I saw you after that. When the bus hit me and life flashed before my eyes, I only saw your face. I've been in such pain every time I heard you slept with Ted, with PJ or even looked at some guy in that beautiful way of yours. You've caused me nothing but pain, mixed with happiness and I just can't get over the fact you don't feel the same way I do."

Robin watched him with lips parted in shock. She couldn't remember how to breathe, talk or anything else. When Barney finished talking, only one thought flashed her mind before she went up to him and kissed him, not caring about anything else in the world.

_He loves me._

(A/N: okay, this one was a bit long, but I think it was worth it ;P)


	12. The Stinsons

What if Robin forgot her purse and had to get back inside?

Loretta sat down on the couch, smiling. She could clearly see the look on her son's face when that tall brunette told him the cab came. There was something ... Like he felt something he wished to hold on to.

Her thoughts were cut off by a knock on the door. She went to open it and saw the brunette, Robin, standing in front of her with an apologetic smile on her face.

"Hi, sorry to btoher you, but I forgot my purse," she said. Loretta smiled at the younger woman.

"It's alright, come in," she invited her in sweetly. Robin smiled back, awkwardly walking back in the apartment.

She found her purse on the couch and turned to thank Loretta and leave, but Barney's mom had another idea in mind.

"Tell me, Robin, how did you and Barney meet?" Loretta asked. "Was there some kind of an audition, or did he simply ask you to come play his friend?"

Robin looked at her confused.

"There was no audition. He really is my friend," she said and then remembered how mad Lily got, when Barney told them he told his mother they were actors too.

"Oh, so you know him from before?" Loretta continued with the questions.

"Yeah, we met a few years back. Listen, I don't want to be rude, but why are you asking me all this?" Robin asked, more confused every second.

"I may be old, but I'm not stupid," Loretta laughed and sat on the couch. She tapped the place next to her, motioning Robin to sit down next to her. Robin slowly and awkwardly sat down. "I could see the way he looked at you. There is something there between you two."

Robin laughed. "I don't think you saw right. I'm sorry to tell you, but Barney is kind of a womanizer. I don't think there is or ever will be a place for some girl in Barney's heart, let alone me," she said.

"Well, maybe you don't see it," Loretta said as they both stood up and went to the door. She opened the door for Robin. "But I can."

"Goodnight, mrs Stinson," Robin said and left.

...

Loretta's words rang in Robin's head throughout the cab ride. She still disagreed with her. How could Barney and she have chemistry? It didn't even make sense.

Feeling someone's eyes on her, she looked up only to find Barney's eyes glancing to the backseat to her. She smiled and he returned an even bigger smile before turning away.

And suddenly she understood.


	13. Murtaugh

what if Barney hesitated to delete the two person voice mail?

After coming home from the doctor and after dying his hair back to blonde, Barney threw himself on the couch. He was exhausted.

The phone rang. Barney groaned and decided to to get up and answer it.

_"Hi, this is Barney ..." "And Robin!" "We can't answer the phone right now because ..." "He's watching sports and I'm ..." "Probably out shopping. Hahaha!" "Haha, uh-oh!" "Leave a message and we'll call you back just as soon ..." "As ..." "We ..." "Can!"_

After a beep, Barney smiled. He's never done anything more humiliating.

"Stinson? This is Bilson ... Um, do I have the right number?"

Barney jumped of the couch and to his phone.

"No, it's me," he said as soon as he answered the phone. Bilson laughed.

"What the hell was that?" he asked. "Do you have an obsessed girlfriend or something?"

"Hehe, no, that was my friend, Robin," Barney explained. "We did this to prove a point to our friend. I guess I forgot to delete it."

"I see you had a fun weekend," Bilson said. "So, what kind of a friend was that? Are you hitting that, or ...?"

"No!" Barney exclaimed. "No, we're ... We're just friends. Why are you even calling?"

"Just to tell you we have an important meeting tomorrow. Something about a nuclear explosion in our repository in Peru."

"Again? Man, I thought they would fix that," Barney sighed.

"Yeah, just like Jennifer Aniston got _fixed_," Bilson snorted.

"You mean ... Tried to fix something, but didn't really change anything?" Barney asked.

"Exactly!"

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," Barney laughed and hung up. She went to system preferences to change the voicemail. His finger stopped in mid air, hovering the delete button. Instead of pressing it, he pressed the button to replay it.

With a smile, Barney listened to the voicemail at least ten times. They sounded so great together. He shook his head and quickly deleted it. He didn't want to be in love with Robin. But what could he do?

His phone rang and he answered it, hoping it will keep his mind from Robin.

"Go for Barney."

"Aw, I hoped to hear our voicemail. Did you delete it yet?"

Well, not keeping his mind away from Robin.

"Yeah, I just did. But it did embarrass the hell out myself when Bilson called," Barney laughed and Robin joined in.

"Wouldn't it be stupid, if we were a couple and had that voicemail?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, very," Barney said with a sad smile. "Hey, Robin, I have to go. But see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course," Robin said. "Bye."

"Bye."

Barney put his phone on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. He snorted at himself with contempt.

_Robin and I will never be together_, he told himself in his mind. He picked up his phone again._ Now go ahead and call some girl with big boobs. Jessica? Or maybe Margaret?_

He dialed a number and put the phone to his healthy ear. Once the girl he called picked up her phone, he said:

"Hey, Robin. I know this sounds weird, since we just talked, but do you want to get a cup of coffee?"

"Yeah, sure. It would be nice to do something with you that we aren't too old for," Robin laughed. "There's some new coffee place I wanted to check out on the 31st. Meet you there?"

"Yeah, bye," Barney said and hung up with a big smile on his face.

_You are pathetic. You probably just broke one of the articles in the bro code with asking Robin out. You are a disgrace to bro-kind_, his mind shouted as he stood up and went to the door. His smile only got bigger, when he went out.

_But, then again, it's Robin._


	14. Right place, right time

What if Barney came back after running away, thinking Robin was pregnant?

Robin groaned and rolled over on the bed. She hated being food poisoned. Just the idea of vomiting made her shutter.

She heard a knock on the door. With another groan she rolled out of bed and slowly went to open. She saw Barney, looking concerned and a little scared.

"Is it mine?" he asked.

"What is?" Robin asked back, confused.

"The baby," Barney said glancing towards her tummy. "I mean, I don't think you told us you nailed anyone else instead of me, so I thought ..."

"Barney," Robin groaned to make him stop talking. "I'm not pregnant."

"You're not?" Barney asked, a little relieved with the news.

"No, I got food poisoned," Robin said.

"Oh, that's cool then," Barney smiled. "Um, may I come in?"

"To the vomit-ville where everything you ate comes back again?" Robin asked sarcastically. "Go ahead."

She stepped aside, letting him in.

"So, food poisoning ..."

"So, you tube ..."

They both laughed at each other after beginning at the same time.

"Ladies first," Barney laughed, motioning to her.

"How did you know I vomited? I mean you probably didn't just come home from a hook-up and randomly turned on the TV to see my show and hoping I will throw up so you can share it with everyone," Robin asked.

"No," Barney smiled, looking down. "I actually saw it this morning before I came here."

"You what?" Robin asked. Feeling sick again, she ran to the bathroom. Barney instantly followed her. While she vomited in the toilet he came closer and held back her hair.

Surprised with his actions, Robin took a deep breath and swallowed some of the vomit back to her stomach. She went to the sink and brushed her teeth. She hated the taste of vomit in her mouth.

"I watched every single show," Barney told her. Robin almost choked on the mouth wash. She spitted it out and brushed her mouth against the pink wash cloth next to the sink, then she turned to him.

"What?" she asked, more and more surprised with what he told her.

"My TV automatically records every _Come on, get up New York! _show," Barney explained. "It's a very entertaining thing to watch while eating breakfast."

"But you always say you never watched it before, like Lily, Ted and Marshall," Robin still didn't understand.

"Yes, when they are around," Barney said and sat dow on the edge of the bath. "I guess I just have to be the guy they expect me to be. But with you ... Like I said once before, I don't always want to be that guy."

"I know," Robin smiled and sat down next to him. "But you could've told me. Then I would know we at least have one person to watch the show."

"Don't worry," Barney smiled for a second without any control over his words. "You couldn't look more perfect. Even when you throw up in a home-made hand bag on live TV."

"Perfect?" Robin asked and smiled at the compliment. Barney's cheeks became red, when he realized what he had said.

"Um, I meant ..." he stuttered, desperately wishing he could just erase what he said. Knowing he couldn't, he decided he was done pretending. "Yeah, perfect. I never saw a person more perfect than you."

Now it was Robin's turn to blush.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "But I'm not perfect. I'm as far from perfect as I could be."

"Says a cigar smoking, scotch-handling woman with daddy issues, who once delivered a baby, saved a man's life and put out a fire on someone's arm in just a hour altogether. Plus, you were a teenage pop star," Barney said, smiling at Robin's laugh.

"My point is," he continued, when she looked back into his eyes. "I couldn't imagine anyone more perfect that you."

"Barney, I ..." Robin stopped talking, dropped to her knees and was barely able to lean her head over the toilet before everything went up her throat and out of her mouth again.

"I think you should leave," she said, after she cleared her stomach once again. She seriously had no idea, how was there still something that needed to come out!

Barney stood up, admitting defeat to himself. He just screwed it up.

"You're right," he said, pain radiating from every word. "Bye."

"But, um," she said while slowly standing up. "Can I call you, when I get everything out? I really want to kiss you after what you just said and I don't want to do it with a risk of throwing up in your mouth."

Barney looked at her with hope and delight. He smiled.

"You have my number."

And with a wink, he left.


	15. The leap

What if Robin didn't overhear Barney and Ted?

"Hey, I have something to tell you."

Robin turned to the sound of Barney's voice. Her heart sped up and her mind started racing in multiple directions. And that was just from hearing his voice and seeing his beautiful face.

She didn't know who was she kidding. She was in love with him. That's why she stayed single for the past year and why she first thought of him on Ted's wedding. And that was probably why she was scared to death for him, when she heard he was in a car accident. And how her heart grew warm when they watched Robin Sparkles video. And why she wanted to tell Blahblah how she and Barney met, though they weren't an actual couple and how her heart practically broke in half when he looked at her after she said _no_ over and over ... Man, how long has she been in love with him?

"Yeah, what is it?" she asked, trying to play it cool, like she always did when he looked at her.

"I ... Um, I, I ... Wow you'd think I'd be better at this," Barney laughed at his own idiotic behavior. "I ..."

"You what?" Robin asked with hope he will be able to form a sentence. Barney sighed.

_Come on, Stinson, you can do this,_ he thought to himself. _Like ripping of a bandage._

"I'm in, you love, with, bandage, do this, ripping."

_What the hell was that?_

"What?" Robin looked confused by the words coming from Barney's mouth, just as much Barney did.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what just happened," he quickly apologized. "My mind just mixed all the thoughts in my head."

"Okay," Robin said, not sure if she should still bother with this conversation. But, still, he looked so cute and insecure, she just had to hear him out.

"The thing is," Barney said and with a sigh he set his mind straight so he wouldn't say anything else, that would make him sound like a dumb idiot. "I'm in love with you, Robin. I've known it ever since I got hit by a bus, but I think I felt it ever since we had a bro's night out."

Now Robin felt speechless. "I ..." she tried to speak, but the words won't come out. "I can't ... I don't ..."

"Yeah, I know, it's a bad idea for us getting involved," Barney sighed. He knew he would get shot down. But at least, now he won't have to deal with this secret anymore. He turned to leave, but a hand gently grabbed his arm, making him turn around to see Robin again.

"I ... What I wanted to say is, I really don't think it's a good idea," she said. "It's a very big risk, since none of us is a really a fan of commitment. But ..."

Barney's eyes shot up at hear, with a gleam of hope shinning through to her.

"I want to see just how bad idea this is," she continued and smiled. Barney smiled widely and kissed her passionately on her lips. She kissed back happily.

This really was a bad idea. But, right now, it seemed like the best one.


	16. Definitions

what if Robin and Barney escaped through the fire escape? (A/N: I mean, duh, they could do that!)

"Hey, Robin?" Barney asked quietly.

"Yeah?" Robin asked and looked at him, while he buttoned up his shirt.

"What about the fire escape?" Barney motioned to the window. "They didn't lock the window."

Robin smiled widely. "Let's do it," se exclaimed quietly and put on her shoes. Barney smirked and fixed his tie. They both climbed out of the window and to the fire escape. They looked in the apartment and saw Marshall eying Ted's whip and Lily looking at her nails.

"Why do I have the sudden urge to knock on the window?" Robin sighed quietly.

"Slow down, Scherbatsky," Barney laughed. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's get some breakfast."

"Brunch does sound nice right now," Robin smiled up at him and he returned her the same smile. They started climbing down.

"You know, Ted mentioned to me, that you're already my girlfriend," Barney mentioned when he helped Robin to the solid ground.

"Oh yeah? Well, who is he to judge?" Robin asked.

"Exactly," Barney said. "We are ... something, and I'm damn proud to be that something with you."

"I feel the same," Robin smiled at him. "We're something."

"And no one can tell us otherwise," Barney smirked and took her hand in his when they started walking down the street.

(A/N: sorry, I know I take forever to upload each chapter, but I have a lot going on right now. School, learning russian language, a little more school, oh, and I also wrote 100 (now it's already 105 - just saying) pages of the book I've been writing since August :P ... so, what I'm trying to say is, bear with me)


	17. Last cigarette ever

Robin's last cigarette

May 25th, 2013

Robin stepped out on the fresh air, away from the screaming crowd, her parents fighting and Ted giving her that painful glance that made her feel guilty for no apparent reason.

She opened her purse that matched her white dress and gladly brought out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. She put one of the cigarettes in her mouth and lit it up. She enjoyed every deep breath with which she inhaled the smoke in her. She knew she'll need it, that's why she bought a pack a day before the wedding.

"Weren't we supposed to quit?"

Robin turned around and smiled sheepishly at her newly-wedded husband. Before she could answer he sighed. "Can I bum one?"

"Sure." Robin handed him the cigarettes and the lighter. When he lit his cigarette up, she said, "This wedding is a disaster, isn't it?"

"We were getting married. What did you think it would be like?" Barney laughed. Robin couldn't help but smile at his adorable laugh.

"I guess you're right," she said. "My parents in the same room as my dad's wife? Not such a good idea."

"And Ted's toast ... Wow, I knew he would cry, but those tears were like Niagara falls," Barney laughed.

"Is it wrong to feel guilty?" Robin asked. "He's been looking me with that look the whole wedding. Like I was doing a mistake."

"Do you think it was a mistake?" Barney looked at her with hint of fear in his eyes.

"No, I ..." She stopped to smile. "You know about all those speeches Ted gave us about meeting the one?"

"Yeah?"

"I think the first words the one for me ever said was "Hey, have you met Ted"?" Robin blushed. Barney laughed.

"Those was the first thing I ever said to you," he said, looking at her with a big smile still on his face.

"And it was a good thing you did," Robin said and smiled after letting out smoke through her mouth. "I mean, if you wouldn't I would have never met Ted. He will make a fine lover. Oh, we must get one of those big closets, so he will be able to hide when you come home."

"If you're trying to frighten me, you can't do it. I doubt you would cheat on me ... With _Ted_." They both laughed.

"Okay, you got me," Robin smiled and dropped what was left of her cigarette on the floor. She stepped on it with her shoe to smother it. "But think how would it all play out, if you saw me first."

"I would've sleep with you, never call you again and at some point you would come knocking on my door with a gun in your hands," Barney said and smirked. "And then we would have wild angry sex and then I wouldn't call you again and that would repeat over and over again, until at some point you would be quick enough to shoot me."

"Probably, yes," Robin smirked. "Or I would just throw my drink in your face and never spoke to you again."

"And then I would try again the next evening ... And the next one ... And the next..."

"I get it."

Barney smirked, dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it.

"I don't really care, what would it take to get in your pants, I just know I would. And then you would shoot me at some point," he said.

"So if I wouldn't have met Ted first, you would end up dying anyway?" Robin asked.

"I gotta thank Ted for saving my life," Barney smirked and pulled her closer to him. "You know, we didn't get to dance to our song."

"What do you mean? We danced after my dad almost choked as they announced me as Robin Stinson Scherbatsky," Robin looked at him puzzled.

"Yeah, he really freaked out after knowing you didn't keep your last name on the first place," Barney laughed and pulled out his phone. "But, what I meant was ..."

He pressed a button on his phone and stepped back to put it on the staircase.

_"Met you at the mall ..."_

"You can't be serious," Robin sighed.

"Oh," Barney looked her in the eyes with a serious and pleading look and a slightly amused smile on his lip. He held out a hand, inviting her to dance "I'm dead serious."

Robin rolled her eyes and took his hand, letting him pull her close to him and they started to sway to the rhythm of Robin Sparkles' song.

"How romantic," Robin said. "We're dancing to the song we first made out to."

Barney giggled at her sarcasm and pulled her even closer. He never wanted to let her go again. Ever.

**BONUS(you don't have to read, it's not BRo, just Ted, FINALLY letting go of Robin ;))**

Ted looked at the happy married couple from a distance, enjoying a cigarette and talking. Once they started dancing to the song he couldn't hear, he heard a voice behind him.

"Aw, they're just so ... magical." He turned around to see the bass player coming closer to him with eyes fixed on Barney and Robin.

"Not as magical as you might think," he laughed, turning back at them.

"Yeah, I heard your toast," the girl said, coming closer to him. "You and her, she and him, each other with someone else, they hooked up, you loved her and them together again, thanks to you. It was a nice story, just heads up. Next time you prepare a toast, make it just a little bit shorter. And, if possible, don't cry."

Ted laughed and glanced over as Barney laughed at something Robin said while they were dancing. His smile slowly faded away and he looked back at the girl. He didn't know, why, but suddenly the smile returned.

"You know, I lived through nine years, so sure she was the one," he said. "And she was. Just not the one for me."

"Wow, that's kind of pathetic," the girl snorted.

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, dude, _nine_ years have passed. If something was meant to happen between you, it would. And in those nine years she found out you weren't destined for her – he was," she said and laughed at herself. "Sorry, I'm blabbering. It annoys everyone, but I can't help it. Reading encyclopedia and poems has some effect on me."

"Actually, encyclopedia is actually pronounced ..."

"Encyclop_e_dia, I know," the girl laughed. "But everyone is always so annoyed with me saying it like that, I didn't want to make a geeky impression on you."

"I hear you, my friends always make fun of me for pronouncing it like that," Ted laughed.

"Wow, the only person I heard it say was that guy from that cheesy movie _the wedding bride_, Jed Mosley," the girl said. Ted opened his mouth closed them again, not saying anything about movie about him.

"Well, the T-dog pronounces everything like it should be," he said, pointing his thumbs at himself and feeling so stupid right then and there. He finally said to himself, no more T-dog. The girl laughed, but her laugh suddenly stopped.

"_Now _I know where I know you from," she exclaimed. "You're that idiot who taught the wrong class for whole twenty minutes."

"Oh, right, you're Cindy's friend," Ted laughed, feeling more and more stupid with himself. "Then I guess you already know my name."

"I do," she laughed. "Ted Mosby, T-dog. We must not call you T-dog."

"And, may I ask, who are you, to mock me?" Ted asked her in a teasing way.

"I'm Linda," the girl smiled and shook his hand. Once they made some actual eye contact they just stared in each other's eyes.

Ted was hurt a lot of times at that point of life. And he laughed a lot of times. And he loved. And he was angry. And confused.

And right then, it seemed like all that ... Times billion.

"This might sound weird and out of the blue, but can I get your number?" Ted asked her, feeling at loss with the oxygen.

"Sure," Linda breathed, feeling light headed. They stared in each other's eyes for a while longer, until he finally got out his phone and handed it to her, so she could type in her number. Once she did that, she returned his phone.

"I should go," Linda said. "But, um ... Call me."

Ted watched her go and when he couldn't see her anymore, he glanced towards the phone and then to the married couple. They were now kissing and he had never seen Barney be so gentle with any girl he ever kissed. He really loved her.

"Goodbye, Robin," Ted whispered into the night, quietly, so no one heard him. He looked back at Linda's number saved in his phone. He pressed the button call.

"Hey, Linda, it's me, Ted. Remember me? It's been so long!"

Linda laughed and Ted new.

Robin was never the one. Linda, like many others, but also in her own way, could be.

(A/N: okay, that wasn't really a what if. And it was extremely long ... And only half of it was Robin and Barney ... But, hey, it was wirth it ;P)


	18. Of course

What if Barney took Robin on the super date?

"She's not going on the super date. You are."

Robin looked at Barney with blood-shot teary eyes. In his eyes she saw something she never did, so she couldn't identify it.

"I am?" she managed to ask.

"Meet me at MacLaren's in half an hour," Barney said and left the shoot range with Robin watching him go. She wiped her tears, gathered up the bullets and on her way out she left them by the gun stand.

"The gun fell on the other side. I couldn't reach it," she told the man who asked where the gun was. She left without another word and rushed home. She felt excited and happy to be going on the date with Barney, though she knew it was a horrible idea. They were broken up. It wasn't a good idea heating up something that was already finished.

But, was it really?

...

"Barney, this is a bad idea," Lily said, watching Barney across from their booth. "She just got of her morning period! When you guys break up again, she will go through it all again! Do you really want her suffer again?"

"I'm not going to cancel the date, if that's what you want," Barney said confidently.

"You son of a Satan," Lily called him with a cold voice.

"Probably, yes, but it's not like you think," Barney said quickly before she got any ideas of killing him. "After we broke up, I wasn't so well either."

"What do you mean? You came in the bar and slept with the first girl you saw," Marshall pointed out.

"Yes, but ..." Barney stopped, wondering whether or not should he even tell them. "It still hurt, okay? It may be hard to believe, but _I _was also going through some kind of a morning period."

And then Marshall, Lily and Ted realized what kinds of jerks have they been to Barney.

_"Oh, man, Robin is so going to nail that new coworker of hers!" Ted laughed as he brought Barney, Marshall and himself a bottle of beer._

_"A new coworker? What new coworker?" Barney asked._

_"Oh, just some guy, Don, who will co-host Robin's morning show from now on. And probably her bedroom," Marshall said with a boyish smile on his face._

_"How ... How do you know?" Barney said, trying to keep his cool. He felt like Robin and PJ all over again._

_"Come on, dude. She said she won't fall in love and now she has a hot co-host. Of course she's going to try something about it!" Ted said, like it was oblivious._

_"Oh, good, um, I'm gonna go," Barney said and stood up from the couch. "I have a thing. Two things to be exact."_

_"What two things?" Ted asked, not getting the joke._

_"The two things you'll never get to see outside the shirt," Barney smirked. "What up?"_

_He raised his hand at Marshall, who hesitatingly slapped it. Barney left and slammed the door behind him harder than usual. When he was on the hall, he leaned his back on the green wall and let pain flow through his face. He intentionally bumped his head against the wall three times to prevent himself from crying. He was Barney Stinson for god's sake!_

_He stood up straight and started walking down the hall and met Lily on the way._

_"Hey, Barney, leaving so soon?" she asked._

_"Yeah, I had to get out. Ted and Marshall are fan-girling about some guy that Robin works with," Barney shrugged trying not to show any true emotions._

_"Oh, I just met Don! He came to get Robin for their date. He is so hot! And just too nice! Oh, my god, where does Robin find such guys?" Lily started blabbering and all Barney could do was fake a bad smile._

_"No idea," he said, silently praying his voice won't break. "I have to go now."_

_He left and brushed his hand over his eyes quickly to capture some rebellious tears that decided to fall out. "Damn it," he muttered to himself._

"Oh, Barney, we had no idea," Lily said, feeling awful about how she just assumed Barney didn't feel a thing after the break up. She of all people should have known he had some of his heart left beating. She watched him secretly love Robin for almost a year.

"Anyways," Barney sighed, "I decided living like this isn't for me anymore and I finally confessed to myself I was never happier than when I was with Robin. And no bimbo with big boobs could replace her."

"Wow, that was just ... The most legendary thing you ever said," Marshall said, on the verge of crying. Barney snorted.

"No, it was sappy and romantic. That's why Robin will never know I said this, okay?" Barney looked across the table and all of his friends nodded.

"Good, now ..." "Barney!"

"I knew I forgot something," Barney said.

"Um, I'm breaking all of my rules coming down here, but nobody stands me up like that, so ... Are we going, or what?" Anita said.

"Sorry, Anita, it's over," Barney shrugged with an apologetic smile and stood up, when he saw Robin walk in. She was wearing the red dress she wanted to wear on her date with Don and her hair was now falling across her shoulders like before.

"Hey, Barney, ready to go?" she asked shyly.

"Oh, yeah," Barney smiled at her and offered her his hand, which she gladly accepted and let him lead her out of the bar.


	19. Say cheese

What if Robin found a way to get Barney's mind occupied so he didn't make the pose before the camera went of?

"Okay, Barney," Robin said, annoyed with Barney, while he fixed his tie, preparing to take a group photo for Lily's birthday. "What does it take for you to take a bad picture?"

"Huh, I never thought of that," Barney replied. "I guess my mind would have to be completely and utterly occupied by something."

"Say cheese, guys!" Lily cried, stepping in the middle of the gang. The timer started ticking slowly.

"Something would have to occupy your mind?" Robin asked, getting an idea she wasn't proud of.

"Yep," Barney said, smiling at the camera, of which timer was ticking the last seconds before the flash went of.

"Well," Robin said, grabbing Barney's collar. "How this for keeping you occupied."

If there was ever any doubt about her actions, Robin's mind became blank when her lips touched his just in time when the timer stopped and the camera went of. Barney pulled away, with wide eyes and lips parted in shock.

"Sorry," Robin said quickly. "I had no idea what ..."

Barney pressed his lips against her again. When they pulled away, he smiled.

"You have no idea how much I missed that," he breathed, pressing his forehead on her's.

"Hey," Lily whined, looking from the photo and to the two. "What is this? You ruined the photo!"

They all gathered around the camera. Robin and Barney were kissing, Lily was smiling, Ted was smiling and hugging his new 'might be the one' and Marshall was the only one seeing the kiss, so he was gasping on the photo.

"Hm, I don't see myself having a bad photo," Barney shrugged. "And Marshall doesn't look stoned. So I even made him look better."

"Is there something we don't know?" Ted asked, looking from Barney to Robin. They looked each other in the eyes and smiled widely.

_"And, kids, this is the story of how your uncle Barney and your aunt Robin got back together."_


	20. Twin beds

"Robin! Robin, I love you!"

Robin looked out of the window and saw Barney on the street. She could see he was drunk as hell. And still there was something in his voice, his sincere look, that made Robin know he wasn't just saying that.

"Who is that?" Don asked.

"Barney," she sighed with a smile. She looked at Don with a dreamy look. He looked back with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you okay, Robin?" he asked her. She tried to make the smile disappear and to look normal again. Who was she kidding? She and Barney were done. She was with Don now.

"It was a mistake letting you go!" Barney still called from the outside. "I ..."

"Shut up, blondie! Some of us are trying to sleep!" some old man exclaimed from an apartment under Don's apartment.

"Oh, suck it, grandpa!" Barney screamed at him. "I'm trying to confess my love here!"

"Barney!" Ted cried, approaching Barney. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I came to tell Robin I love her," Barney said, screaming out the word _love_.

"No, you think you love her. Think about the letter! And how miserable you guys were together," Ted said. Barney looked at him and then turned towards the window of Don's apartment, where Robin stood watching and started calling her name again. Ted sighed, trying to think what to say next. "Come, on, Barney, think of the boobs. And all the things you can do with boobs. You know, juggling, honka honka ... Like it says in your letter, in which you convince yourself dating Robin was a bad idea."

"Ted," Barney said with a completely different, sober voice. He pulled out his letter from a pocket of his suit. "Look, I wrote here: Sure, you'll always _love_ Robin. How can I deny something, that will be there no matter what."

"Aren't you supposed to be drunk?" Ted asked his friend.

"I did drink a glass of scotch before coming here, but I'm not drunk," Barney said. "You should know, you always act like you were drunk or high whenever you're around someone you love."

"You really do love her?" Ted asked. "It's not some child in you that wants his toy?"

"You are an expert on this, Ted. Tell me, do I love her? Would I do jsut anything for her?" Barney asked. Ted looked at him closely and then he saw it. Maybe for the first time in his life, Ted saw something in Barney's eyes. A spark that was only shinning for one person. A spark that told Ted Barney found the person Ted was constantly trying to find.

The one.

"Robin!" Ted called. Robin was surprised by Ted's voice. Now Ted was there too?

"Okay, what are those two doing here?" Don asked, a little annoyed when he heard Robin's name being called over and over again.

"I don't know," Robin said. She finally opened the window and looked out. "What is it guys? Is everything okay?"

"No, everything is not okay!" Ted called. "At least not until you dump Don!"

"Excuse me?" Don asked. He heard what Ted had said and was of course offended by it. He came closer to the window, looking out himself.

"Robin, dating Don was a mistake!" Ted continued. Barney looked at him.

"I can still hear you," Don pointed out, but Ted didn't mind him.

"What are you doing?" Barney asked Ted.

"Getting you what you want," Ted answered. "Make sure you make me the best man at the wedding."

"What are you talking about, Ted?" Robin asked.

"Dating him was a mistake! You know it! Deep down, you still can't separate from the one person you know you love the most," Ted said.

"Ted, seriously, it's like you were talking chinese to me right now," Robin said back. She never bothered trying to understand his cheesy monologues and trying to understand him now, standing a few feet above him, didn't help.

"Come down here!" Ted exclaimed. "If you still love Barney, which I know you do, you _will_ come down!"

Robin moved away from the window, deep in thought. She had a nice relationship with Don, she felt safe. But, on the other hand ... No, she couldn't. It didn't make any sense to run to the spontaneous handsome man in a suit who might break her heart again.

"Don ..." she started and looked at her boyfriend.

"You're going to go down there," Don nodded understandingly. "I get it."

"I'm so sorry," Robin said. "I don't want us to get awkward at work ..."

"Robin," Don cut her of and placed his hands on her shoulders. "It's alright. I understand, if you love him. Nothing beats true love, so why would I want to stand in the way?"

Robin hugged him and thanked him. Then she ran out of the door and down the stairs and outside.

"Tell me," she said breathlessly. "what the hell are you two doing here?"

"Well, I don't know how Ted managed to follow me, but I think I'm here for the same reason you came outside," Barney said, hoping he was going in the right direction.

"And what would that reason be?" Robin asked and crossed her arms, rubbing the arms over her upper arms, feeling the cold breeze of the night. Barney noticed her gesture, took of his suit jacket and put it over her shoulders.

"I couldn't get over you if I tried," he said. Robin looked up at him and allowed herself a small smile.

"Neither could I," she whispered, finally confessing to herself she could only be happy with Barney. And he knew for sure the only happiness in his life was Robin.

Ted looked at them from afar, smiling at the sight. Never in his wildest dreams would he think about Barney settling down, let alone with the scotch drinking, cigar smoking, canadian gun nut with daddy issues ...

_Huh_, he thought at the sudden realization. _Maybe they are perfect for each other._


	21. Magician's code, part 2

What if they did run away together?

"It's our last chance to run away together," Barney half joked. "Door's right there."

"Yes, start a new life," Robin played along with a smile that was painful to put on since she saw a ring on Quinn's finger.

"Head for the border!"

"Canada!"

"Eh, Mexico, Canada sucks," Barney crunched his nose.

"Well, you're on quarter Canadian, so you one quarter suck," Robin said, still enjoying making fun of Barney for being partly canadian.

"I'm one hundred percent awesome and you know it," Barney claimed and Robin smiled at his statement. A true statement of that.

"Yeah, I do," she faked a smiled, knowing there was no way they could actually be together again. They exchanged a look, filled with love none of them was supposed to feel anymore.

...

"Hey, Robin, could you ..." Lily stopped talking when she noticed two of her best friends weren't there anymore. "Robin? Barney?"

Quinn came out also and so did Marshall with Marvin.

"Where are they?" Marshall asked. Lily went to the coffee table and found a piece of paper. She read it to herself and though the writing shouldn't make her smile, she did.

"What does it say?" Quinn asked in worry for her fiancee. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Lily said. "Everything is fine. Come on, let's go back."

She left the letter to fall on the floor and went to her husband and her son. After they all retrieved to Marvin's room, Quinn picked up the letter.

_Dear Lily, Marshall, little Marvin and Ted (when he'll read this),_

_We're sorry to leave at such short notice, but we promise you, you'll hear from us soon, don't worry. We're just two idiots, running of to the border of Mexico and in love._

_=Robin and Barney_

The writing changed and Quinn recognized Barney's handwriting.

_Quinn, I'm very sorry to do this to you. I thought I loved you, but Robin and I ... We just have something I couldn't describe in words. I'm truly sorry for asking you to marry me and then running of, but let's face it – though it sounds harsh, we might have never work out. You have your life and you had to leave it behind for me. I left my love behind for you and we both know that wouldn't last long._

_You can keep the ring if you want to. Or you can sell it. I don't really care. I just hope I didn't hurt you too much._

_=Barney._

...

"I can't believe we did this," Robin smiled widely, feeling more happy than ever, but also a little guilty. Barney, sensing the guilt building up in her, reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips while driving far away.

"I can't believe we haven't done that yet," he smiled at her.

(A/N: okay, I've tried to write the stories in some kind of an order, but I can't do it anymore. From now on I won't write in the way the episodes follow. I have a new rule (and according to Barney Stinson, new is always better): write whatever comes to you mind!)


	22. Do I know you?, part 2

What if Robin didn't go get that waitress?

"Robin, listen ..."

"Um, last call?"

"Of course it is. One more for the road?"

Robin nodded and watched Barney expectedly as he ordered two more scotches.

"What were you going to say?" she asked when he handed her a glass.

"Um, I ..." Barney stuttered. He couldn't do it. He couldn't say how he felt. But her beautiful eyes encouraged him to go on.

"This will probably sound weird, coming out from someone like me, but ... Wait for it ... I'm ... Wait for it ... In ... Wait for it ..."

"Just say it, barney, I can't wait for it any longer!" Robin cried with laughter at his silliness.

"I love you, Robin."

He didn't dare to look her in the eyes and she didn't dare to look away from his, lowered in shame.

"You ..." "Yes, I do! I don't know, how it happened, but there was something between us, when we slept together, something that felt right. I didn't think about it until I had that bus accident and only saw you."

Robin was even more speechless than before. Barney was in love with her? Could it be that ... No, it was Barney. He would probably cheat on her the second he would have the chance. But ... He really didn't stare at that girl's boobs, while they were eating and now that she thought about it, he always chose her among everybody else.

"I ..." she started, but trailed off. She put the scotch in her hand back to the counter, not wanting to drink, though her body craved for some alcohol to calm her a little. "I can't do this. We ... You ... I ... I have to go."

She left and Barney watched after her, sighing deeply and gulping down his scotch.

"Hey," said a female voice. He didn't turn and when he didn't give any responses, the waitress with big breasts from before came to his sight. "So, I just finished my shift and can see you blew off your date, so I was thinking if you'd like to go somewhere?"

Barney put on a fake smile to hide the pain Robin caused with her rejection.

"Well," he said, "you are in luck. I think I would need some time before I get my sleep for tomorrow's game."

"Game?" asked the girl.

"Yeah, don't you recognize me?" Barney asked with mock shock, also covering up his real feelings. "I play for the New York Yankees."

"Really?" she asked, nicely surprised with a lie she naively thought was true. "Do you ever, like, get nervous? When all the New York is watching."

Barney snorted. "No, I feel bad. We make the other teams look so bad in front of millions ..."

And just then he noticed he hadn't even glanced at her breasts yet.

_"Really? Not even a glance? Even I was thinking about riding a motor bike on those bad boys!"_

He shook his head in a desperate try to quiet Robin's voice in his mind.

"Look, I'm not a New York Yankee. Any other night I would try and convince you that I am, but really I'm just a guy, idiotically in love with the girl that just left," he said, finally showing how he felt. Like that bus would have ran him over again ... and again ... and again. "And she's never gonna feel the same way."


	23. Tick, tick, tick

What if they did run off

(A/N: okay, this came out of an idea from rosemusic20 :D I used your scene, but I changed it a little, I hope you don't mind ;P and yes, it is very similar to the one I did a while back, but hey, none of those opportunities should've been missed xP)

"Okay here's the plan: Grab one of the life boats. Get back to shore. Destroy the tape of us doing it."

"There's a tape of us doing it?"

"And we'll start a new life together, somewhere simple and homey like Vermont, or Dubai!" Barney's eyes stared off in space, already imagining the sweet, perfect future they would have.

"Wait is that what you want? For us to be together?" Robin asked him and brought him back to reality. Not knowing, how to answer and suddenly ashamed for even suggesting it, he looked down at the floor.

"Let's do it." he looked up, seeing a smile, filled with excitement and mischief, crept onto her face.

"Wait, really?" Shock, confusion, and excitement glint in his baby blue eyes.

She grabs his hand and pulls him into a corner. "Yeah! When was the last time you did

something spontaneous?" And when he gives her a funny look she adds, "Other than last night." Her eyes meet his and they are filled with a guilty pleasure.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" He says, pulling her so close to them their noses touch. Then because he is such a tease, he pushes her away. "Let's go find a life boat!"

"Or, you know, we could just get off the boat the normal way. I think it is still docked."

"Well, that's no fun!"

"Just. . . Come on!"

They turn to leave, to run off into the life they both wished for a very long time and almost knock over Nora and Kevin, who just came to them.

"Hey, guys," Nora said gleefully with that annoying accent of hers. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, we just ..." "We were worried, where you two are, we just wanted to find you," Barney cut Robin off with a well though out lie, which was easy to buy and put on a fake smirk before kissing Nora. Robin also faked a smile and hugged her boyfriend.

"Shall we go dance?" Nora asked Barney and he faked a smirk and led her to the dance floor. Robin watched after them, feeling sickeningly jealous of Nora again.

"Wanna dance, Robin?"

Robin looked at her boyfriend, who smiled at her. She smiled back and let him take her hand when they walked behind Nora and Barney.

Barney placed his hand on Nora's waist and they started dancing. He positioned himself to be able to watch in Robin's direction, while she was dancing with Kevin. Their eyes met, both shinning with guilt and a close thing to a heart break.

_"... To this day your aunt Robin and uncle Barney still swear that this was the song they danced to that night."_

"You know you still love your past girl," sang the man in the band. "You guys tried to break through, not telling the truth, but yes, you in the suit, and now the guilt sinks into your soul."

The singer turned to Robin.

"Yeah, the guilt's gonna drive you crazy!" Robin bit her lip, knowing the lyrics were true. "Why would you give this a try? Kevin's such a nice guy, and you want to get off of this boat."

"You're still planning the escape from here," the singer sang. "What the hell is in the place, where you should have a soul? You did those two wrong, don't wait to long, you know what, tell them right during this song!"

Robin and Barney exchanged glances.

"I'll wait," the singer said. After they didn't do anything, he continued, "Oh, really, you're not gonna tell them? ... How about that escape plan then?"

After the end of the song, Nora excused herself to go to the restroom and Kevin said he'll get them drinks.

"Let's go, _now_," Barney said. Robin looked at him.

"Sure, act like it was your idea," sang the singer. "Seriously, you guys suck." _(A/N: okay, how good was that line in the episode? :D)_

"What? Now? But ... What will they think of us?" she asked.

"Right now," Barney said, taking her hand and smiling. "I don't really care."

Robin smiled back and glanced over her shoulder, seeing Kevin was looking away.

"Come on," she said. "I think I saw some life boats earlier."

Hand in hand, they sneaked around the perimeter of the boat, so they didn't have a collision with anyone ruin their runaway plan. They pushed through the crowds of people and weaved past the security guard, climbing into a life boat. They slowly dropped it in the water and watched silently as the yacht powered out to the deeper ocean.

"We did it," she breathed in his ear and squeezed his hand as she looked at him with glee in her eyes.

"Now what?" he asked. He turned to face her, his eyes sparkling from the moonlight and the sheer rebelliousness of it all. "Do we like, make out or something?"

"We could try that," she smiled, moving to kiss him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer. She let out a soft sound of pleasure, almost a sigh of relief.

He suddenly pulled away from her with a big mischievous smirk on his face.

"Ever done it in a boat?" he asked, making Robin laugh.

"I did, actually," she said. "Not as hot as you might think."

"That's because you've never done it with me," Barney wiggled his eyebrows and kissed her again, while gently pushing her down on the wooden bottom (what up?) of the boat and making her giggle in his kiss.

(A/N: sorry, guys, I know it had been a long time since I updated, but I had a lot of things to do and I really didn't have ANY time to even think about this fanfic -.-)


	24. Subway wars

What if Ted told Robin what Barney did?

"Woah, Robin, don't you look nice," Ted smirked when Robin came out o fher room, looking hot as ever in a yellow summer dress.

"I do, don't I?" she smiled widely. She felt hot in that dress, but not a hot as Barney made her whenever he looked at her and she was wearing a dress.

"What's the occasion?" Ted asked. "Going on a hot date?"

"Yep," Robin said. "With Max, the guy from Marshall's law school. We really hit it off after our little race. I guess there was an even bigger upside for my win after Barney tripped and knocked you both down."

Ted wanted to say it so badly, but he kept his mouth shut. He wanted to tell her why she actually won.

But he didn't. Barney wouldn't want him to let Robin know he still secretly cared about her. More than she knew.

"Okay, I'm going now," Robin said as he headed to the door. She turned around and winked. "Don't wait up for me."

"It was a tackle."

_Damn you, Mosby! You're turning into Lily!_

"What?"

_Well,_ Ted thought, _I might as well tell her everything now._

"Barney tackled me," he said. "And I'm sure of that, because I know a tackle when I see one or feel one. I was tackled down enough in high school since I wasn't very good at sports."

"He ... tackled you?" Robin slowly started to process the information. When it finally dawned on her, her look became furious. She _didn't _win all by herself? "Son of a bitch."

She headed out of the apartment, slamming the door harshly behind her. Max was waiting for her outside, but she called off the date, saying sorry, but didn't really mean it.

...

"Thank you for the stay in the Stinson place. Please don't leave anything behind as you leave the premises," Barney said as he escorted his one night stand entertainment to the door to his apartment. He opened the door to let the dumb redhead (fake redhead, between their fun time in the bedroom he could smell the cheap hair dye) bimbo out when he saw a wide, unblinking eyes and flared nostrils of a Canadian he used to call his girlfriend.

The bimbo went out, pushing her way past Robin, who didn't bothered moving on the side. As soon as she was gone Robin walked inside.

"Robin," Barney said. "What are you doing here?"

Robin furiously took off her shoe and threw it across the room.

"Wanna talk about penguins?" he tried and hoped she would calm down.

"How could you do that?" Robin asked, turning to him.

"Do what?" Barney was now very confused. "Robin, what are you ..."

"The race, Barney!" she made it clear. "You tackled Ted so I could win!"

"I did not!" Barney exclaimed, outraged she would even think of such thing. "You don't have any proof and also ... Why is this important?"

"I really needed a win that day," Robin sighed. "I had a very bad day, we fought ..."

"And I tried to make it okay ... And the so called tackle wasn't a tackle at all. I just tripped ... And I accidentally took Ted down with me ..." He cleared his throat. He really couldn't lie to this woman, could he? "... On purpose."

"Why would you do that?" she asked. She calmed down a little. The mention of penguins helped a little.

"Because ... I care about you. I still care about you, whether you like it or not," Barney said, coming closer to Robin. "I know you, being a Canadian and all, want to be fair in everything, but I know that either I or Ted could out run you – well, I'm not really sure for Ted, but I didn't want to take any chances. I could see you needed to win and I could see I hurt you badly earlier that day. I guess I wanted to make it up to you in some way."

Robin smiled, shook her head and gave him a little laugh.

"You are _such_ an idiot, Barney," she said, making him smile goofily. She went closer to him and pecked him on the cheek. "You know you could simply say you're sorry, right?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Barney smirked. They stayed very close for a while, closer than two ex-lover should be. The looks in their eyes were both screaming loudly they want to try this again, but are too scared to do so.

Afraid of letting Robin see the emotional side of him, he decided to ruin the moment.

"Plus, Ted was kind of getting on my nerves with that whole boring professor thing the past few days," he shrugged. Robin smiled, looked on the ground and took a step back.

"I should go," she said. "I have to apologize to Max for blowing him off earlier. Bye and ... Thanks."

She walked out of the apartment and Barney smirked as he remembered Ted's lectures about Robin Scherbatsky.

She called him an idiot?

Well, he called himself the luckiest man alive.


	25. Weekend at Barney's

What if ...

Haha, just kidding, that episode was perfect! If you haven't watched it yet, I strongly recomend it – I think it was th best episode of the season! :D

Have a nice day and sorry for giving you a false alarm about a chapter ;P


	26. The front porch

(A/N: okay, that last chapter was really an ugly joke. I'm sorry again. Here's my apology – another drabble! Enjoy and please, I beg you in the name of Desitny's Child ... Review!)

what if Barney was curious about the front porch theory?

"Hey, Lily," said Barney, after Robin and Ted left and Marshall had already retreated to the bedroom. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Barney," Lily smiled and looked at him. "What is it?"

"About that front porch," Barney started. "How do you think ... Um, how would Robin and I fit in that picture?"

Lily smiled. "Well ..."

_Several years later_

_"Bridges!" cried old Marshall as he threw his cards on the table. "I won."_

_"Damn it, again?" asked old Ted and examined Marshall's cards. He pointed at one of the cards. "Ah, no, wait, this card doesn't fit here."_

_"No," said Ted's wife. She took the card and replaced it on the other end. "It fits here. He won, honey."_

_"Damn," Ted frowned as Marshall smiled proudly._

_"I made some lemonade," Lily announced, coming to the table. She put six glasses of lemonade on the table._

_"Oh, are Robin and Barney coming back?" asked Ted. As soon as he said that, a beam of light flashed through the front porch, almost blinding everyone. Out came older Barney and Robin, laughing._

_"I can see you guys had some fun," Marshall smiled at the laughing couple._

_"We totally helped past me bang some asian with big boobs," Barney laughed. Robin laughed too._

_"Thank god, I thought she'll never go home with you," she sighed and smiled when Barney pulled out a chair for her._

_"You're okay with past him sleeping with another girl?" Ted's wife asked._

_"If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't get the courage for getting my lovely wife," Barney said, placing an arm around Robin's waist. She leaned on his shoulder. Barney continued, "She was deep as hell. And she told me love can't be hidden from the eyes of anyone or something like that. It made me want Robin even more."_

_PRESENT_

"You think we'll be together?" Barney asked hopefully. His brows furrowed for a moment. "And you think we will travel through time?"

"Marshall got me hooked on that idea," Lily shrugged. "But yes, I think you two could end up together. You will be the awesome aunt and ucle our kids will love. Who knows, maybe that deep-thinking asian with big boobs is waiting for you right now."

Barney smiled and stood up from the couch.

"Thanks, Lily," he said. "Goodnight ... Or good morning. I can't really decide what's more appropriate."

"Bye, Barney." Lily smiled sleepily. Barney headed out of the door and looked at his watch. He had about ninety minutes before his job started. He might as well go to the bar and look for a certain asian since he had some time.

_"Your uncle Barney didn't meet the asian girl for another few weeks since that. But guess who he came to talk about a certain double-breasted canadian suit after he did?"_


	27. Rabbit or duck

what if Robin ordered scotch in a beer glass because of someone else?

"Your beer looks a little flat," Ted noted as Robin sat down at the booth.

"Yeah, it's scotch," Robin answered and looked at Ted, trying to keep her eyes away from the bar.

"Wow," Ted's eyes widened. "Something troubling you, kiddo?"

_Barney, holding his number throughout the super bowl._

_Barney, with his magic phone that never stops ringing._

_Barney, who is going to hook up with that chick at the bar – and possibly a lot of other bimbos in the next twenty-four hours._

_Barney._

She sighed and thought of the first lie she could come up with.

"Don."


	28. Desperation day

What if Barney broke his no dates on February 14th?

(A/N: okay, this is kind of a prologue to the next chapter, which I wrote on a request of BeLegendary ... And yes, I take requests too ;D)

"You like Nora," Robin announced, smiling widely.

"No, I don't," Barney said with a snort, as if he was trying to cover up a lie, but actually telling the truth. _This isn't working out the way I hoped_, he thought.

"Whatever you say," Robin said. "Oh, hey, Nora."

Hearing an opening line, Barney wondered if his elementary school drama class education would pay off. He turned his head swiftly, making Robin think his eyes were looking for Nora.

"Haha, gotcha," Robin laughed. "Come on, admit it! You like her! I saw you guys at the bar talking earlier, I could see she made an impression on you."

Barney fought back a snort. If she only knew ...

_"Now, kids, Robin still doesn't know that part of the story. Your uncle Barney only told it to me and I'm sure he wouldn't like Robin to ever know, so please don't tell her."_

_..._

_"And you have a gun and this vest thing ..." Barney glanced over at Robin and saw she wasn't looking smugly at them anymore. He turned back to Nora. "Look, Nora, I need your help."_

_"I'm not helping you getting in some other girl's pants," Nora said. "Robin told me what kind of a pig you can be."_

_"No, no," Barney said quickly. "Well, it might lead to this, but I don't want you to help me get another one night stand from this."_

_"So you want me to help you make Robin jealous," Nora smiled knowingly._

_"Wow, how did you know?" Barney asked with wide eyes._

_"You guys were dating and neither of you is ready to admit it's over," Nora laughed. "Even a blind man could see there's something between you. Like you made that relationship bond, but forgot to cut it once you broke up."_

_"What do you mean?" Barney asked._

_"You've been glancing in her direction the whole night and she's been giving dirty looks to every girl you talked to tonight. Even I got one earlier. It scared the hell out of me," Nora said. "Her eyes got wide and ..."_

_"Nostrils flaring," Barney laughed. "She's scary when she does that. Just talk to her about penguins, when she looks like that again."_

_"Penguins?"_

_"Or hockey. Or proper gun cleaning. But penguins are the easiest." Nora smiled at him._

_"Okay, so what's that plan you mentioned?" she asked. "You guys clearly belong together and I want to help making it happen."_

_"Thank you," Barney smiled relieved. "The point is to make her jealous."_

_"Done."_

_"No, I mean really jealous," Barney said. "I want to ask you on a Valentine's day date. And it has to be big."_

_"Why?" Nora asked._

_"Because ... Just ... Okay?" Barney mumbled adorably. "I imagined it like that and it will go like that."_

_"Alright whatever you say," Nora laughed. "Then what?"_

_..._

"Whatever," Barney said, looking at Robin, who was still teasing him for "liing" Nora. "Hey, are you up for some one on one laser tag? I need practice for tomorrow."

"But, Barney," Robin said and furrowed her eyebrows. "It's past midnight."

"Don't worry, we can get in. I know a guy," Barney smirked.

"No, Barney," Robin said again. "It's _past midnight_. It's officially Valentine's day."

"Okay, so it's a date," Barney winked and pulled her off of her seat and out of the MacLaren's. Robin laughed as he dragged her into the night.

_"And that, kids, was your uncle Barney's first date on Valentine's day."_


	29. Garbage island

(A/N: I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T WRITE IN FOREVER! I completely forgot about it with all the studying! I hope you will forgive me :P anyways, I'm writing this on a request from BeLegendary. Thanks for the idea, by the way. And I should also thank the others, who always read this story and leave the nice comments afterwards :D you always make my day and inspire me to write more. I don't think I ever thanked you, which is a bit rude of me ... So THANK YOU VERY MUCH! It's the sequel or part 2 or whatever you call it from the earlier chapter. Enjoy and review at the end, please ;P)

"Eighteen weeks."

"Damn it!"

"How come?"

"Well, a lot has been going on, with work and all, so I didn't have much time."

Barney smirked. He could see she was very close to just throwing herself in the next guy that walks by.

"You know, you can just say the word and I'm ready." Robin looked at him. Barney could see in his eyes, she was just begging for it. His smirk got bigger. "We're exes, we're allowed to slip up."

"Oh," Robin smiled, but her longing to do just what he suggested didn't go away. "I see what's going on. This is about Nora!"

Oh, right. Barney has already forgot about that british talking girl. She freaked him out a bit, really. With that accent she sounded more like his mom than a girl who he could land.

"What do you mean, it's about Nora?" he asked.

"You like a girl and you want to hide those feelings by sleeping with me," Robin smirked.

"No, I don't," Barney let out a nervous laugh. Why wasn't she jealous?

"Whatever, look, I gotta go to work," Robin said. She took a napkin and wrote Nora's number on it. "Call her."

"I will not," Barney told her, when she left and looked after her when she was walking away. She was the only woman in his life, besides his mother, who he never looked at below the belt. He was more fascinated by her soft wavy hair that felt so good, when he ran his fingers through them whenever they kissed while they were a couple and whenever they ...

He shook his head and looked away. _Don't think about that, Stinson_, he reminded himself and smirked. _Yet._

He dialed Nora's number and put his phone to his ear.

"Hey, Nora, it's Barney," he said. "The robin is flying south."

"What are you talking about?"

He rolled his eyes.

"That means Robin is going to work ... I thought I made myself very clear about the code names the other day," he said.

"Alright," Nora sighed. How could Robin be in love with this man? "I already know what to say."

"Great, and remember, Robin _must not_ know we are planning anything. And try to make her as jealous as ..." Barney's voice trailed of as he glanced to the two men and a woman, who looked as shocked as ever.

"I gotta go," he mumbled into the phone and hung up.

"What was that all about?" Ted asked.

"Nothing. Laser tag," Barney lied, but already gave up on idea to make anyone believe him.

"You're thinking about making laser tag jealous?" Lily asked.

"No, I ... Yes!" Barney thought of a lie. "I want to make the other laser tag players jealous of my awesome tricks!"

"Just give it up, Barney," said Ted. "We've seen through you."

"You have?" Barney asked with a shaky voice.

"Of course! We've talked to Robin. She said you like Nora way more than you would like to admit. So since she can't be here, we will get the truth out of you," said Lily as his friends sat in the booth, surrounding him so he couldn't escape if he wanted to

"So ... Spill it, Stinson."

...

"Oh, hey Robin," Nora greeted her coworker sweetly. "How do you do?"

"Cut the crap, Nora," Robin said. Her eyes got dark, which Nora hadn't expected.

"What's wrong?" Nora asked.

"I saw you and Barney hanging out yesterday," Robin said.

"Oh, Robin, I'm very sorry!" Nora exclaimed. "If you and Barney have something going on, I will ..."

"Wow, wow! What?" Robin became defensive. She giggled nervously like she always had when she tried lying. "Barney and I are over. There's nothing going on ... I just wanted to tell you to take the first step towards him. I mean, it took him eight months to admit his feelings to me."

"Oh, um, thanks," Nora smiled. "Actually, he called me yesterday around two in the morning. We're going out tonight."

"You are?" Robin's voice cracked as well as her heart. Barney never called her at two in the morning to get a date with her. And most certainly not on Valentine's day.

"Yeah, we're going to some place cafe l'amour," Nora proceeded to talk. "Ever heard of it?"

"Yeah," Robin nodded and faked a smile. Cafe l'amour? L'amour means love! They're going to the cafe of love! "I've never been there, not even with Barney. He must really like you."

"I hope so," Nora smiled widely. "He's so handsome! And funny and smart ..."

Robin's hands clenched into fists. She was ready to strangle Nora right here, on this very spot.

"I'm so glad," she said through gritted teeth. "You two would make an _amazing_ couple. Excuse me."

She left to her desk and on the way she punched a vase on the table and knocked it of. On top of it all, it was Beatrice's vase. And she hated it anyways.

Nora grinned widely, but couldn't help to feel bad. She saw how this plan was breaking Robin's heart. She took out her phone and dialed Barney's number.

...

"Alright, now I'm really telling the truth!" Barney exclaimed. "I'm going to adopt a tiger."

"Barney, come on," Ted said. "Just say you like Nora and we will change the topic."

"I can't say something I don't feel!" Barney finally broke. "I don't like Nora. Who would want that way to good british girl? I'm reaching way higher!"

"What do you mean?" asked Marshall. Barney sighed.

"Okay, don't tell that to Robin, but I have a plan and Nora is the one person who could help," Barney said.

"And what s that genius plan?" Lily asked Barney sarcastically. Barney opened his mouth to talk, but he was cut off by his phone.

"Go for Barney."

"Meet me at cafe l'amour at seven tonight," Nora said.

"Why would I want to go to that romantic place?"

"I have a feeling Robin will be there," she said. Barney smirked.

"Alright, meet you there," he said and hung up.

"Who was that?" Lily asked full of expectations.

"Nora ..." Lily let out a loud woo.

"But!" Barney yelled to shut her up. "It's not what you think. I ... I want to get Robin, um, jealous."

"What?" all three asked in unison.

"I still have feelings for her, I can't let her go," Barney admitted. "It was hard as hell for me after our break up. Yesterday I realized I myself was the victim on Desperation day. I want someone like her to always be in my life and not just as a friend."

"Well, you missed your chance," Ted said. "She's in the apartment right now, getting ready for her hot date."

"I thought she was at work," Barney said. "Nora just spoke with her."

"Apparently she called in sick," Ted shrugged. "She's meeting him in about fifteen min..."

Before Ted could finish his sentence, Barney was already out of the door. He ran up to Ted and Robin's apartment. He didn't even bother knocking on the front door and walked in the apartment. Robin was standing at the mirror, putting on her earrings. She looked wonderful in a tight black dress. Barney was speechless for a second.

"Barney?" Robin asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't go," he said, his eyes pleading.

"Don't go where?" Robin asked, a little nervous. Did he know?

"Don't go on a date with that guy, whatever his name is," Barney said and Robin sighed in relief.

"Um, yeah I'm going. Why shouldn't I? It's not like you're going on a date with Nora," Robin said and turned back to the mirror to fix her hair.

"I won't go. You know I won't, just say the word," Barney said with no intentions of going out on a fake date with Nora now, anyways. Robin turned to him, shook her head and bit her lip.

"It's not that simple, Barney," she said. Tears gathered up in her eyes, blurring her vision. She blinked and looked up in hope to make them disappear. "I can't just tell not to like someone."

"If my heart belongs to you, you can," Barney said and Robin looked at him puzzled.

"Since when are you so cheesy?" she asked.

"I have no idea," Barney laughed. "Just when I'm around you I start saying nonsense. But it's because I love you. You may not love me back, but I can't bear living on with you not knowing I still have feelings for you."

"Barney ..." Robin muttered and after that she was left speechless. Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks, but she didn't sob or wipe the tears away. She wasn't crying. She was just deeply touched by Barney's speech.

Knowing it was a bad idea, two exes slipping up, she ran towards him and kissed him. It was a tender kiss, filled with love and longing they had for another. When they pulled away she whispered into his lips.

"Don't ever leave me alone again."


	30. Garbage island, part 2

(A/N: while writing the last chapter I got an idea for another what if, that has nothing to do with the earlier chapters. Just something I REALLY WANTED it would happen at the end of this episode)

"Okay, mother Theresa," Robin said. "Throw me one."

"Sorry?" Barney raised and eyebrow. Was she really ...?

"I would like it if you threw me one," Robin repeated, challenging hi with her eyes. "Fast ball, right down the middle. Actually, if I recall correctly, a slight curve?"

"Careful, Robin, I'll do it," he stated.

"Oh, I don't think you will," Robin said in a little seductive voice, mocking him and inviting him at once. "Because you don't want to screw things up with Nora ... But hey, prove me wrong. Tomorrow night, my place."

She stood to leave and Barney tried to come up with something clever to say back, just so she won't get the satisfaction of leaving him speechless.

"Don't poke the dragon, Robin. Cause the dragon _will_ poke you back." Robin smiled at him smugly and left. Barney watched her walk away and took the torn napkin with Nora's number I his hands. _To hell with this, _he thought and stood up.

...

Robin soon heard knocking on the door and sighed while she looked at the clock. Five minutes past eight. While they were still hiding the fact they were a couple, this was their usual meeting time.

On one hand, she hoped it wasn't Barney really coming here, but on the other hand, she really missed their love-making. Not sex, not even Barney ever referred to it as sex when they were alone. They knew everything that was going on in the bedroom was purely of all feelings.

And she wasn't going to sleep with him tonight. It was just a test to figure out if he really liked Nora. They should be happy together and she wished them happiness. But ... Why was her heart breaking at the thought of Barney having what she and him had a while ago?

She realized she hadn't opened the door once Barney helped himself in through the unlocked door.

"Damnit, Barney," Robin sighed at him. "You failed my test! You know, I tried to root for you. Even as your ex girlfriend, when you meet someone I'm like, yeah, Barney, go get her. But you know what? Just forget it. You're never gonna ..."

Barney walked towards her and kissed her on the lips to cut her of and pressed her up the door with his own body. Robin returned the fiery and passionate kiss, feeling like she was at home.

They didn't stop to gasp for air and it seemed like they didn't even need it. They were both longing ever since they started to miss in after their break up.

"Wait, wait, wait," Robin gasped, pulling her face away from him. "I said it was a test. What about Nora?"

"Nora who?" Barney smirked and kissed her again, picking her up and leading her towards her bedroom. Nothing and no one could prevent them from not doing this, from

loving each other.

(A/N: okay, now I'm really out of ideas for drabbles. Any suggestions or requests?)


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